Wedding Culture in Korea: ‘let us eat noodles’
This expression comes from the days when noodles were commonly served at weddings. So if someone asks, ‘When are you going to let us eat noodles?’ they mean, ‘When are you getting married?’
I came across this expression while looking for interesting idioms to improve my Korean. It made me think about wedding culture in Korea. I’ve been to several weddings and found that weddings are quite different to back in the UK. It can be confusing wondering what to wear, what to give, and even whether to attend or not. So in this post I’ll write about what to expect if you are invited to a wedding in Korea.
In this post:
1. Why were noodles served at wedding receptions?
2. What is modern Korean wedding culture?
3. Korean practice: How to use the expression and an essential Korean grammar point – causative verbs.
Wedding culture in Korea
The question ‘When are you going to let us eat noodles?’ dates back to the tradition of serving noodles called Janchi-kuksu ( 잔치 국수) banquet noodles at weddings.
Theses noodles are thin white noodles (somyeon) served in an anchovy broth. The noodles are served because they have a symbolic meaning. Noodles are long and symbolise longevity in life and in a marriage. (That’s why cutting noodles can be a no-no and considered bad luck).
In the past, it was common to hold weddings at home and noodles were likely to be served. But Janchi kuksu is not luxury food. You can get a cheap bowl of janchi kuksu noodles from a sikdang diner. So these days, wedding venues tend to serve something more impressive. However, noodles may still make an appearance if the reception has a buffet.
Wedding invitations
When I first came to Seoul, I was surprised to find an invitation to a wedding from one of my coworkers in my pigeon hole in the office. I had barely spoken to her and was flummoxed as to why I had been invited.
It turns out that there are a lot of ‘duty’ invitations, so it’s not uncommon to feel obliged to invite all your coworkers. Getting an invite doesn’t mean that you are expected to attend.
Wedding venues also have certain minimum requirements for the number of guests they will accommodate. When we got married, the smallest number the wedding venue would accept was 150 guests. So if we wanted to get married there and only had 50 guests, we would still have to pay for 150 guests.
How many weddings do people go to?
So people in Korea must attend a lot of weddings in their life! Mr Kim has already been to around 30 weddings. I think that’s a high number, but he doesn’t think it’s very many! It’s all relative I suppose. And I know people who attend a wedding every weekend during wedding season. Maybe even two in one day!
But there is a trend for smaller more private weddings to avoid the ‘duty’ invitations. However, parents may not like this as they have been to lots of weddings and now want everyone they know to reciprocate.
Wedding Attire
What to wear to a Korean wedding
If I was going to a wedding in the UK, I’d be fretting for months beforehand about what to wear! I’d probably even buy a new outfit. I’d also expect to see ladies at the wedding in hats or fascinators that match their brightly coloured festive outfits. But I would say that, in general, wedding attire for guests in Korea is less dressy and more low key than in the UK. But it can depend a bit on the type of wedding.
I’ve been to weddings in Seoul and seen guests in jeans. Someone came to our wedding in a sports hoodie. I wouldn’t recommend turning up like that though. The mothers of the couple are likely to be in hanbok. And guests at least business casual.
Mr Kim often goes to weddings in his work suit with a slightly more jaunty tie than usual. And I want to look smart, but blend in. For me, muted colours are better, but not black. After the ceremony there are group photographs, so that’s something to bear in mind – I don’t like the idea of being the only guest in cerise sticking out from the crowd! Think conservative garden party, not Ascot.
Wedding venues
Where do couples usually get married in Korea?
Wedding hall
A wedding hall is one option and a common choice. Wedding halls have rooms for the wedding ceremony and a large dining area for the reception. But guests need to know that there may be more than one wedding going on at the same time. This means that the reception area is pretty hectic with guests for different weddings trying to find the right room.
So make sure you know the full names of the happy couple and don’t just walk into the first room you see, otherwise you might end up at someone else’s wedding.
When I went to a wedding hall, I was also surprised by the large dining room which was full of guests. Where did they all come from? I didn’t realise that there was only one dining room with one buffet.
And all the wedding guests from all the different weddings had to dine in the same room.
We had been given tickets to get into the food hall which was down several flights of stairs. The hall was only about half full of guests and empty plates on the tables and half drunk bottles of soju was evidence that some people had already eaten and left.
The food was good. An international buffet including different kinds of kimchi, Chinese style deep fried pork and dumplings, Japanese style sushi and sashimi. Then there was cake and fresh pineapple, lychee, and slices of oranges.
It’s also worth noting that there were indeed bowls of janchi-kuksu banquet noodles too, which I now know are the traditional food for weddings. I didn’t know that at the time.
A waiter in a stripy grey and white waist coat and black trousers was wheeling a shopping trolley around full of beer and soju for anyone who wanted more drinks.
Hotel Wedding
Hotels also have banquet halls for weddings. Hotel wedding are generally more pricy than wedding halls and will also have a sit down dinner. Guests sit at large round tables to watch the wedding ceremony and then a course dinner is served.
I went to a wedding in a hotel. In the banquet room a white carpet had been laid down between the guest tables. It led up to an alter. The couple walked down the centre of the aisle together, the bride in a white wedding dress.
A friend of the groom’s dad took the ceremony. He praised the couple for graduating from good universities and becoming part of the “elite”. Then he told the bride to listen to her husband and told them both to respect their parents. He asked them if they loved each other. They said yes. Then they walked back down the aisle and the food started to come out.
photographs
As we started to eat, guests were invited to go up to have their photo taken with the couple.
Mr Kim went up, but I stayed and finished my salmon platter. I don’t like having my photo taken. Anyway, he had left some salmon on his plate and the waiter took it away. When he arrived back at his seat he complained that he hadn’t finished it yet. I said there wasn’t much left and he should have eaten it before he went to get his photo taken.
The next course was soup, followed by steak and prawn and a floret of broccoli, a sliver of mushroom, mashed potato, and a baby tomato. I wasn’t eating meat at the time so Mr Kim took my steak and gave me his prawn. We got a glass of red wine. By the time the chocolate cake dessert arrived, other guests were already leaving so we decided to leave as well.
Church Wedding
Churches can accommodate weddings and cater for the reception.
I’ll never forget the first wedding I went to in Korea. It was in a church, as the couple were Christians. As we sat waiting in the pews for the service to start, I observed two things. First, that I was uncomfortably overdressed. Second, that it was quite noisy. I like the calm atmosphere in churches, but noticed that I could also hear the sound of clanking cutlery and people talking. It was as though another event was going on in the building.
Turns out this was the sound of the wedding guests from THIS wedding already eating at the buffet!
Yes, that took me by surprise as well. And it’s because not all guests stay for the ceremony. They come to pay their respects and bring the money gift. Perhaps this is one of the reasons that not everyone gets really dressed up.
Traditional Hanok House
Another option is a traditional wedding with hanbok traditional dress. International couples often choose this type of wedding. We did.
In the past, weddings took place outside in the courtyard of the home and the traditional hanok house wedding tries to replicate this ceremony. Everyone in the ceremony wear hanbok including the bride and groom. The guests sit in an uncovered area watching the event. So hopefully it will be good weather. If it rains, the ceremony has to take place inside on a stage instead.
Wedding Presents
What to give the bride and groom as a wedding gift
There’s no need to spend time thinking about the gift as wedding guests in Korea give money. The only thing you have to decide is how much money to give! And that depends on the guest’s relationship to the couple. There is a minimum acceptable amount, but no maximum. These days money gifts start at 50,000 won.
Put the money (ideally, crisp new notes) into an envelope and write your name on the back of the envelope. Write the Chinese characters for ‘congratulations on your wedding’ (祝 結婚) on the front of the envelope, vertically. Alternatively, just buy ready printed wedding envelopes from a stationery shop. (don’t buy the ones for condolences for funerals, by mistake…) Sometimes, people who can’t attend the wedding just send the money in a bank transfer.
The wedding ledger
At the wedding, there will be a reception table where a trusted friend of the couple will be collecting the gift envelopes. There may be a different table for guests of the bride and groom. Names of the guests are written in a book along with the amount that they gave as a gift. This book is important as the couple can refer to it later when they attend a wedding of someone who was a guest at their wedding. They need to check to see how much they gave so that they can reciprocate appropriately!
Once the money is handed over, the guests can attend the ceremony, go and eat, or simply greet the families and leave.
Well that post turned out to be longer than I planned. And there’s still so much more to say about weddings. But I’ll save that for another time. Meanwhile, here’s some info on the Korean expression and what I learned about it. And if you have any suggestions for further posts, let me know in the comments!
How to use Korean expressions
‘When are you going to let us eat noodles?’
언제 국수 먹게 해 줄거예요?
literal translation: ‘When are you going to let us eat noodles?’
English translation: ‘When are you getting married?’
This expression is not used as much these days, maybe because noodles are generally not served at weddings anymore. But everyone that I asked knew what the question meant. The older generation may still use it, but younger people are more likely to simply ask their friends directly: ‘When are you getting married? ‘ 너는 결혼 언제 할꺼야?
However, couples can use it to each other in a more indirect way to talk about marriage:
우리 언제 국수 먹을 수 있어?
언제 국수 먹으러 가면 되는 거야?
When can we eat noodles?
Sample sentences:
Naver online dictionary suggests this example:
그는 친척들이 국수 언제 먹게 해 줄 거냐고 물을 때마다 불편했다.
He felt uncomfortable whenever his relatives asked him when he’s going to get married.
우리 언제 국수 먹을 수 있어? 언제 국수 먹으러 가면 되는 거야?
When can we eat noodles?
Essential Korean Grammar Point ….게 하다
This grammar point is a causative expression.
It means to ‘let someone…’ or ‘make someone…’ or ‘enable someone to do something’
언제 국수 먹게 해 줄거예요?
먹게 하다 make someone eat.
Here are some more sample sentences of the grammar point taken from Korean Grammar in Use Intermediate (unit 10 causative expressions)
늦어서 미안해요.
Sorry for being late.
한 시간이나 기다리게 하면 어떻게 해요?
How could you make me wait for an hour? (to wait – 기다리다)
교수님은 학생들에게 금요일까지 숙제를 내게 하셨어요.
The teacher had the students hand in their homework by Friday. (to hand in homework – 숙제를 내다)
Keywords:
special occasions
